If You Were Gay
by OnnaMusha
Summary: How to piss Sousuke Aizen, the king of Hueco Mundo off? Gin will teach you! If You Were Gay lyrics from Avenue Q Soundtrack


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach! And the song. Just borrowing some of the materials and POOF! A random crack was born.**

If you were gay~

**xXx**

After a long and very tiring day in Hueco Mundo, the ex-shinigami could finally return to his quiet and peaceful room. Arrancars and their problems were tiring enough for him, plus a lot of riots exploded in the Forest of Menos today. He threw his black and white haori to the marble floor, sat on his bed and rested his head on a pillow for a while. It was not like anyone could peek and see whatever he was doing in his private room afterall. Lazily his arm stretched to a table stood beside his bed to grab a book in black cover lying on it. He then turned the book open to the last page he read and sighed.

_Ah, an afternoon alone with my favourite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." _He thought to himself and a smile appeared on his lips. _No arrancars to bother me. How could it get any better than this?_

Just when he was about to start reading, the door suddenly flipped open – pretty much surprised him but a surprised expression was not for the King of Hueco Mundo.

"Oh hi, Aizen-sama!" The silver-haired guy who just broke into his room without permission greeted him cheerfully with his usual fox-like grin glued to his face.

Aizen sighed, a slight annoyance could be seen in his expression. Gin was close enough to him that he could see a bit of Aizen's true expression. "Hi Gin," He glanced towards him slightly and returned his gaze to the book.

"Hey, Aizen-sama, you'll never guess what happened to me on the Las Noches headquarters this morning. This arrancar guy was smiling at me, and talking to me,"

"That's very interesting," Aizen replied shortly, cutting Gin's sentence.

Despite the looks on his face, Gin kept on talking. "He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me." He paused. "I think he might've thought I was gay!" His tone changed slightly as he said that.

"Ahem," Aizen cleared his throat. "So, uh. Why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?" Again he changed the topic, hoping that Gin would finally shut up and leave him with his book peacefully.

In contrast to what Aizen hoped, Gin stepped closer to Aizen and said playfully. "Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Aizen-sama~"

"I'm NOT getting defensive!" Decided that this was annoying enough for him, he slammed his book closed. "What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I am trying to read."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Aizen-sama," Gin chuckled. "I just think it's something we should be able to talk about,"

"I don't want to talk about it, Gin. This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but…"

"OVER!" It was very unusual for someone like Sousuke Aizen to be enraged. Something was definitely bothering him.

"Well, okay, but just so you know– " Gin started skipping around Aizen's room and sing. "If you were gay, that'd be okay~" He turned to his master and grinned. "I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway!" His grin got even wider as he saw Aizen's eyebrows raised.

"Because you see…" He continued singing. "If it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay but I'm not gay~!"

"Gin, PLEASE! I am trying to read..." But the annoying grin was still sticking on Gin's face. "What?"

"If you were queer~" he started again

"Ah, Gin!"

"I'd still be here!" he skipped even closer to Aizen.

"Gin, I'm trying to read this book!" Aizen gave up in trying to read this time and facepalmed.

"Year after year…"

"Gin!"

"Because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!"

"And I know that you~" Gin teased playfully beside Aizen, causing him to drag his body away from the silver-haired ex-shinigami a few inches away.

"What?"

"Would accept me too~"

"I would?" He asked out of confusion and a bit of disgust.

"If I told you today 'Hey, guess what? I'm gay!' But I'm not gay!" Gin skipped his way around the room again. "I'm happy just being with you~"

Aizen sighed desperately. "High Button Shoes, Pal Joey…"

"So what should it matter to me, what you do in bed with guys?" He chuckled.

"Gin, that's GROSS!" Aizen almost puked at his own thought of sleeping with guys. Disgusting. Or maybe not.

"No, it's not!" He chuckled again. "If you were gay, I'd shout HOORAY!" He jumped with his arms stretched upwards as he pronounced his hooray.

"I am not listening!" Aizen was completely pissed. But not knowing what could stop Gin Ichimaru, his closest subordinate from singing about the idea of him being gay in his room, he just sat with his arms crossed on his bed and his eyes glaring at the ground.

"And here I'd stay,"

"LA LA LA LA LA!"

"But I wouldn't get in you way!"

"Aaaaah!" The poor king of Hueco Mundo pressed his palms as hard as he could to his ears.

"You can count on me… To always be beside you everyday, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way," Gin pointed. "And as they say, it's in your DNA, YOU'RE GAY!" He cheered and skipped to the door.

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" If he could throw his Kyouka Suigetsu at Gin, he'd do it right now.

"If you WERE gay~" And Gin vanished into the dark corridor, successfully pissing off the most calm and composed man in Las Noches, the king himself.

"Aaargh!"

**xXx**

**LOL sorry for the randomness! XD  
Hope you enjoy. Please tell me your opinion, I really appreciate your reviews! :D**


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